Tag Archive | writing

Let’s Get Lyrical

This is sort of an extra post as I have time on my hands and somewhat off my usual topics.

As I have said in previous posts, occasionally I write song lyrics. lPart of a song, often just a couple of lines will come to me and play in my head, and from there it may grow into a full verse or chorus I have to write down and then add the rest of the lyrics from there. It is therapeutic for me, as a way of expressing my feelings, often during times I feel more vulnerable and emotional, so it is not always an easy choice to share my lyrics. However I do find it somewhat cathartic to put my lyrics out there and I find the responses to them can be interesting. Having now written several more songs I thought I would share some lyrics again.

Don’t
(I hear this song as having a somewhat Euro dance beat for the verses with a slower chorus)

Don’t tell me you love me, then leave me
Don’t tell me you need me, then walk out the door
It’s not fair on my heart
Just be honest right from the start
Let me know where I stand

(Chorus)
I don’t think my heart could take another break
There’s pieces scattered around
In varies places, in varies towns
If you can’t follow through
Please don’t day it at all

Don’t tell me I’ll meet someone new
Don’t tell me that I will move on
It don’t help me right now
Just get out from inside my head
Let me be loved for real

(Chorus)
(Bridge)
I don’t want another brief affair
Every time one of them leaves another bit of me dies
There’s not enough left to spare
(Chorus)

Pretend
(This song seems to suit a slow, almost melancholy tune)

Life it’s all just pretend
Love it’s all just pretend
But together we can make it
Bearable

So come and pretend with me
So come and keep each other company
maybe we can fake it till it’s
Real

(Chorus)
Is it really easier on your own?
You don’t have to spend your life alone
I know you’re lonely just like me
I refuse to give in so easily

Life it’s all just a game
Love it’s all just a game
But maybe we can play the game
Together

So what will you do
When you find yourself
Old and alone?

(Chorus)

Unreality
(Another fairly slow tune, but with a slightly more upbeat, hopeful sound to it)

(Chorus)
I’m living in my dreams
‘Cause nothings what it seems
I’m lost in fantasy
It’s an unreality

As I fall asleep at night
I hold you nice and tight
You say everything’s alright
You’ll keep me close tonight

We have our future planned
Together hand in hand
As we’re lying in my bed
But it’s all inside my head

(Bridge)
In the light of day
You always fade away
(Chorus)

Once our love was real
But you no longer feel
anything
But I still dream
I still dream

(Bridge)
(Chorus)

Lost in fantasy, unreality

Floating
Can’t you see what’s going on?
Can’t you see?
That I’m lost all alone
And reaching out for you

Can’t you hear what’s going on?
Can’t you hear?
When I cry out in the night
And it’s your name I call

(Chorus)
I feel like I’m floating away
Floating out to sea
Drifting from everything that is me
Watching reality pass me by

Can’t you feel what I feel?
Do you care?
Though you feel me standing near
You don’t respond to me

(Chorus)

Can’t you see what’s going on?

I Don’t Believe
(An angry rock song, sung loud)

(Chorus)
I don’t believe in any kind of god
I don’t believe in aliens from out of space
I don’t believe in ghosts and haunted rooms
But most of all I don’t believe in you or us any more
I don’t believe in anything, except rock and roll and alcohol

You just said what I wanted to hear
You knew the game you played from the start
I may have fallen for it then
But I’m not falling for it now

You had your kicks and you had your fun
You made sure you were number one
Well your number is up now
I’m making sure your out the door

(Chorus)

So make sure the music is heavy and loud
Pass us that beer, I wanna drink to oblivion

(Chorus)

I have no faith any more
There’s a Human Waiting in the Dark
(This song was written during a time when their was a lot of campaigns to save the environment and a lot of anger directed at the current political system and capitalism)

There’s a human waiting in the dark
He’s a rather precious thing
You should treat him with your heart
But all that you can see in the money that you’ll bleed
Don’t you know your going to kill him
Kill him with your greed

(Chorus)
It’s too late to say you care
Just saying you’ll be there
It’s too late for words and talk
Can’t you see it’s action that we need
If we are to survive
Instead of all just die

There’s a future waiting in the dark
It’s a really fragile thing
You should think about it more
But all that you can see is your immediate need
Don’t you know your gonna’ kill it
Kill it for us all

(Chorus)

Why?

You are amazing
You are incredible
Everything I ever wanted in a man
But you are frustrating
You drive me crazy

(Chorus)
Why can’t I be with you?
Why can’t I have you by my side?
Looking on from a distance gets to be so hard
After a while
I keep seeing what I’m missing
Why can’t I be part of your life?

You are exciting
You are exhausting
To think about everyday
Knowing you are out there
This drive me insane

(Chorus)

I know your having fun without me
This makes me feel I was good enough
I don’t care what you say
I can’t help, but feel this way

(Chorus)

We Are Fools

We are young
Young enough to start again
But not so young I don’t feel a fool
For ending up here once more
So soon after the last

(Chorus)
We are fo-o-ls
For falling ourselves
That this could be the one
We are fools for falling in love
And I did it again

We are old
Old enough to know the score
Because the writings on the wall
There’s no way that thing can last
As we’re on different paths

(Chorus)
(Bridge)
Why can’t I be alone
Why am I always searching for the one
It just messes with my mind
Every single time it goes wrong

(Chorus)

We are fools for falling in love
And I am the biggest fool of them all

I am a Writer

Right now the only thing I feel that I am really good at is writing. I have always enjoyed writing since I was young. It is the one area in which I get consistently good comments from people. I sometimes get nice comments about other things I do, but never as regularly as I do about my writing. It has been this way ever since I started school, writing was the area in which I knew my marks would never be that bad. At university my best marks were for my written theory work. I got OK marks for most of my performance practicals, but the written side always got me my best marks.
I decided last year to start this blog as I thought it would be a good way to get back into writing. A way to express some of my thoughts and feelings about things I have been going through. I was not sure if many people would read it, but for me it was more the actual act of writing and knowing that it had the potential to be read by someone. However right from the first post I started getting good numbers reading it and some very good feedback. A lot of the first people to read it were my family and friends, but I now have total strangers signing up to follow my blog and commenting on it too! It is a brilliant feeling knowing that your writing is good enough for people to want to read more of it.
I decided to write on the topics of disability and mental health as I have a life time of experience in these areas and have opinions and ideas on these topics that I wanted to express. I also add in posts about being on benefits as that is affecting my life in a large way right now, and often it can impact on my mental health. It helps that I am a very opinionated person who not afraid to tell people exactly how I feel about things. Being very honest in my blog matters to me, as I want to use it as a way to tell the world what I am really thinking and feeling about things.
I find writing this blog, and writing in general therapeutic in some ways. I find it helps to get things off my chest and out in the open. Writing also helps me focus my mind on what is really the issue and not to worry about so many things all at once. As I write I read back what I have just written and sometimes realise what I was anxious or angry about actually sounds daft when put out in the open like that. It gives me perspective on things. It also forces me to make my thoughts more coherent so that people can understand me which in turn sometimes helps me understand myself better.
Recently I had a blog post published on a campaign website about forced ‘volunteer’ work on job seekers allowance. I emailed them about my experiences, and they said I wrote about my experience very well and would I write a short blog for them. Despite it being unpaid it felt like a kind of commission, like a real writing job. I was proud of myself that I wrote so well they were willing to put it up on their website and post it on their Facebook page. I very much enjoyed the experience of writing for someone else and would love to do it again.
In fact my dream job would be as a writer. A kind of journalist or opinion page writer, the kind of thing you might read in the Guardian in the magazine pull-out. I also think I would be good at writing for websites or as a press officer for a local government organisation and that kind of thing. I am really struggling to get regular work in retail or hospitality or any other day-to-day area, so I am wondering if my talents would be better served doing something like writing for a living. However I do not know how you go about getting into writing as a career, it is not the kind of job you often see advertised on a jobs board online. I fear it might require knowing the right people in the industry, but sadly I do not know anyone like that. If anyone has any ideas how I could get started with this please feel free to share them with me. Even if it is unpaid work, it would be great to have more experience in writing for other people.
Currently I am stuck in a seemingly endless job searching rut and need to get out of it for my own sanities sake. Having been unemployed for over two years (bar a three-month retail job over a year ago), with the job centre driving me gradually more and more insane, old mental health issues I thought I had dealt with in my early twenties are resurfacing. I am wondering if maybe, just maybe writing could be my salvation.

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