When I am struggling with emotions and feelings writing helps me sometimes. I find writing lyrics can be helpful, especially when confused or heartbroken or sad. It can help me to get my anger or sadness out in a safe way. It helps me to explore my feelings towards someone or something. I cannot go and yell at the guy in person in a lot of cases, so this helps.
I enjoy writing in various song styles and genres. A lot of the time my songs end up coming out in ‘Goth emo’ style, but not always. I am a huge The Rasmus fan, which is what a lot of my songs end up being a bit like, but some also turn out more like Train or other things. I wish I could write music and put the tunes down on paper, although I do not actually think the tunes I have in my head are very good most of the time anyway. Someone else can write the tunes one day if they wish.
I write lyrics for myself about very personal things, they are not written to be taken seriously as hit songs; they are just to help me. I thought I would share a few of my songs though just to help explain myself a bit better to people and also I love to share what I have been writing whatever type of thing it is.
A lot of my songs are about love and relationships, like most songs seem to be. These next ones are about my last long term relationship ending.
Silence of the Ghost
You don’t have a master plan
If you wake up tomorrow
You think you’ve won the game
You don’t see a future
You’re living day to day
I need something solid
That I can build upon
But you have no foundation
You’re crumbling to the ground
‘Cause you’re afraid of life
(Chorus)
So now you’ve gone and ghosted me
And just left me with memories
What am I supposed to do?
I have no way to get through to you
You don’t even know
What you’ve left behind
Do you know how much you hurt me?
Do you even care?
Or are you lost inside your mind?
(Bridge)
You’re a ghost and you haunt me
Bet you think you set me free
But you’re a ghost and you haunt me
(Chorus)
That’s what scares me most
It’s the silence of the ghost
It’s the silence of the ghost
Dreams/ Reality
There’s a difference between dreams and reality
But you don’t see
See the bigger picture
See the picture of me
Standing right before you
But you don’t see
I’m not what you need
You need someone who is ripped at the seams
Someone who has no dreams
But baby that’s not me
I want to have a life
Maybe be someone’s wife
There’s a difference between dreams and reality
This is something I’m learning
But I refuse to give up on my dreams
So I’m giving up on you
Then maybe I will see a new reality
Thief
You said all the things that I wanted to here
That I’m loved and you’ll keep me near
Was it truth, was it lies?
Was it part of your plan?
As you committed your crime
(Chorus)
You became a thief of the night
You stole my life
My heart, my soul are in your possession now
When you walked away
You took everything I need
I am no longer me
I can’t ask for them back
Since you went on the run
I can’t ask for the truth
You’re in hiding now
Since you committed your crime
(Chorus)
(Bridge)
I would say let the punishment fit the crime
But I think you’re already broken inside
Just like you did to me
Now I’m broken too
Since you committed your crime
(Chorus)
This next song is about when you are finally starting to move on from a painful break up. It is much more hard rock than the other and the words in capitals are supposed to be almost shouted.
Break Down
I came back today
Back from time away
But it weren’t no holiday
It was a mental break
DOWN!
Although I never left my own bed
I wasn’t there inside my head
I was going out my mind
Thoughts were dragging me
DOWN!
I have no one to blame
I drive myself insane
Living inside the pain
The pain that come from having known
YOU!
Today I finally felt OK
I woke up and got out of bed
Decided to get out of my head
Now I’m living just for me
FUCK YOU!
This song has parts about several men I have met along the way, but is mostly about one specific person.
Over You
You told me you needed someone
But after you had your fun
You said you’re too broken inside
To take any-more
Well I’ve been broken since the day I was born
I’m totally twisted and torn
But that don’t mean I want to be alone
So don’t you dare use that excuse
Why can’t you just tell me the truth?
(Chorus)
I know I’m supposed to hate you
But you know I don’t
If I did it would make it easier
For me to move on
But I’m not ready to be over you
Not over you quite yet
I think I knew from the start
But I’m slightly insane
So I played along with your game
Hoping to make it real
It still hit me like a hammer when you left
I should have seen it coming
But it’s hard when you want it so bad
Now I feel like the guilty one
But that really should be you
(Chorus)
There’s a deep emotion I get when I think of you
I both hate it and love it
But I’m not ready to be over you
Not over you quite yet
(Chorus)
This song has nothing to do with love and is about my mental health, partly my OCD.
My Darkest Sin
There’s a darkness surrounds me
It comes from within
I try to fight it
But I have to give in
So I end up committing my darkest sin
(Chorus)
Sin, sin, sin, what do I win
When I commit my darkest sin
I win silence from the voices inside my head
I win back the silence of the night
The silence of the night
There’s a confusion surrounds me
I don’t know what is right
I try to be part of this world
But it’s always a battle
Against my own sin
(Chorus)
(Bridge)
I am only human
I will often fail
I can’t live up to what is always expected from me
There’s a darkness surrounds me
It’s dragging me down
(chorus)
This song was written when I was feeling very low and lonely.
The Lie
You gotta’ try, try, try everyday
Even though you want to die, die, die in so many ways
You got to pretend that you are OK
Don’t let them see your vulnerability
Or they’ll take advantage one of these days
(Chorus)
I feel numb, numb, numb, nothing inside
There’s a void inside where the love should be
I try to fill it, but it feels an impossibility
I can’t seem to find what I need
I come close, but it’s not meant to be
You gotta’ lie, lie, lie everyday
That you don’t wanna cry, cry, cry is so many ways
You make out you cope on your own
There’s no way they’d understand at all
(Chorus)
(Bridge)
You ask yourself why, why, why it happened again
You gave it your all, but it wasn’t enough
Still you must try, try, try
(Chorus)
If others can fake it so can you
But for how long can this go on?
This last song is about trying to fit in and being true to myself.
Being Me
I have tried everyday
I have tried to be regular, normal
Gave it my best, gave it my all
But eventually I had to fall
They all rejected me
(Chorus)
I can’t be something I’m not
So I’m going to give it a shot
At being who I truly am
Without no massive plan
I am being me
I have finally found
What I want to be
But I think I left it too late
I’m way past the starting gate
They just locked all the doors to my youth
(Chorus)
I refuse to give in
I will finally win
I will find a way
To make tomorrow my day
I don’t care what they say