Autism Communities on Social Media

​Social media is a great way for autistic people to connect.  There are many groups and pages on Facebook for autistic and nuerodivergent people.  When newly diagnosed these groups can be a great way to find out more about being autistic and find people who understand what we are going though.  Some groups can also be helpful for those who want to find out more about autism because they know someone autistic or work with autistic people. However some of these groups and pages need to be careful which direction they are going in and what they choose to focus on.  Some are in danger of becoming caught up on rules and worrying about seemingly minor issues to the point that they become less welcoming to new members.  Arguing amongst ourselves does not help us support each other or make us look very good to others.  A few groups are making some actually autistic people feel excluded from the autism community.

When you first join a group many have rules that admin have created.  The idea is that it keeps a group safe and allows admin to keep a group with the original aim it was intended for.  There are however some nuerodiversity and autism groups with lists of rules so long and complicated that I give up even trying to learn them all.  I use rules in my groups; they are a helpful way to tell people why you are removing a post or comment, but I try to keep them simple and not have too many of them.  When rules are too complicated you can find yourself in some groups having your post rejected and that is just a waste of time.  

Some groups even have rules about certain words or phrases you can use when referring to autism or autistic people.  There is a group of autistic people who are preoccupied with the language around autism.  I understand some of it and agree that some words and phrases can be detrimental to us as autistic people.  For example I think functioning labels do us no favours because they ignore the fact that we fluctuate in how well we function.  When describing autism we must be respectful in our use of language.  However some take this to extremes and to the point they start finding fault with language other autistic people are using in an innocent way.  There are now so many words and phrases that can come across as offensive to some in these groups it can be hard to know how to phrase something.  Some have even said they do not post much in these groups because they are worried about saying the wrong thing and upsetting someone.  I respect any autistic persons right to describe themselves how they like, but in turn they should respect my right to do the same.

One of the terms some autistic people now have issue with is special needs, preferring the term additional needs.  However I think whatever term is used it would eventually become seen as offensive because it is not the exact words, but the way they are used in association with disabled people that is the problem.  Some now get annoyed by calling it Autism Spectrum Disorder or ASD because they have a problem with the word disorder.  I do understand why, but it is what we are told we have when diagnosed, so people often use it, especially when newly diagnosed.  When finding out your new diagnosis to then have other autistic people tell you to even call it ASD is wrong is confusing, but worse still is when some tell others it is offensive to use the term and have a go at them for it.  Personally I think it makes little difference if you call it ASD or not.  

When youre worried about how you phrase something in a post every time it gets difficult, especially for some autistic people who already struggle with communication and getting their point across.  I have seen people leave groups because they say they felt harassed just for not wording something in an exacting way.  I leave groups that I can see are doing this on a regular basis, with admin who do nothing to stop it and in some cases are actually a part of the problem.  

One of the things I most dislike is when someone in a group calls another member ableist.  Calling another disabled person abablist is harsh.  Disabled people can be abalist against other disabled people, especially those with different kinds of disabilities to their own, but the term should be used extremely carefully against disabled people.  Some seem to think anyone who disagrees with their point of view is ableist.  I think autism and nerodiversity groups could in some cases be better at allowing a difference of opinion, as long as it is not disrespectful or rude, differing opinions can make a discussion more interesting and give us another way to think about something.  

I am not the only one who feels some autism groups go to far with certain issues.  In response to a recent comment I made in a group someone else said that whilst they agree some things can be used as a put down, some autistic people take it to a whole other level and make it a war.  Another said they do not care what we are called as long as people understand us and treat us properly, with basic human respect like any other person.  

Getting caught up in rules and language like this can mean we miss more important things.  I have seen whole posts rejected due to one or two words used in a way someone disagrees with despite the fact the post was actually making a very valid point.  There are some things autistic people do need to worry about and should make a big deal, such as ABA therapy, lack of support and opportunities in education and employment and how hard it is to even be diagnosed amongst others.  Being sidetracked and focusing on exact words and overly complex group rules means we do not get to focus on the important stuff as much.  The fact that many autistic people suffer from fatigue means we should pick our battles so we do not spend our limited energy on the things that over all do not matter so much.

I still think autism and nuerodivergent groups and pages are worth being a part of, they can be helpful and supportive.  We just need to be careful which ones we join and allow to influence us.  We need to remember that these groups and pages do not represent all autistic people.  Some do try to take a more generalised view of autism and to be inclusive, but one person or even a group will never speak for every autistic persons experience or point of view.    

There are some Facebook pages and groups I particularly think are worth following which have helpful, interesting and supportive posts.  They feel like safe spaces that are well moderated. 

• Nigh.functioning.autism- a page of memes and information that can be worth sharing.
• Autability- a page that gives clear information about what being autistic can be like.
• Sensory Stories- this page is mainly about sensory processing disorder or SPD which many autistic people have.  It has some very well illustrated memes which give a good impression of living with SPD.
• Adult Autistic Spectrum Community- has both a page and a group.  The page has useful posts about autism and the group is a great place to ask questions and discuss autism issues with actually autistic people.
• Nuerodivergent Rebel- this page accompanies this persons blog, which is worth following.  The page posts interesting and informative articles about autism and nuerodivergent issues from various sources and has some good memes worth sharing.  The comments below some of the posts can provoke interesting discussions. 
• Neurodiversally Unbroken- this is probably my favourite page about autism and nuerodivergent issues I have come across on Facbook.  The page has useful and thoughtful posts.  The page admin keeps an eye on the comments on each post and sometimes responds in a totally non-judgemental way.  The page feels very safe and welcoming.

I also have a Facebook page to accompany my blog, search for Artificiallyhip.   

A Paperless Internet Soceity- are we pricing the poor out of modern life?

Last summer for about two weeks or so, I had major issues trying to get on the internet.  Trying to get technology to actually let me online was proving very tricky.  Firstly my mobile phone decided to stop working properly on Facebook, not allowing me to comment on anything or ‘like’ anything.  Slowly more and more Facebook functions died.  For someone who volunteers to help two local charities run their Facebook pages, this was a problem.  I knew I needed a new phone; it was about five years old and slowing down.  So I was using my local library computers, however they started to have their own issues.  Being networked when one computer goes wrong they all start to go wrong.  For most of the summer only about half the computers in the library worked and during this two week period, none decided to work at all.  So I went to use my laptop at my parent’s house, where I often go as they have Wi-Fi and I do not.  That was when my parent’s internet and my laptop stopped communicating.  So my mum said I could use her PC instead, but it was clearly not a fault with my laptop, as her computer could also not get any Wi-Fi signal.  For some reason my mum’s tablet could get online, so I managed a few of the more important tasks on that.  I managed to get my internet issues sorted out eventually, but it got me thinking about how so much of modern life relies on being able to get online. 

I love the internet; it helps me as an autistic person to communicate with others better and to feel connected to the world.  However I can see that it is becoming an issue how so many of our services and day to day functions rely on being online.  I do not have internet in my flat.  Any half decent connection requires a land line, which I also do not have.  So I would have to pay line rental and then broadband costs on top of that.  I live on benefits, which gives me a rather limited budget and Wi-Fi in my flat would eat a significant chunk of that budget every month.  I have managed by using phone data or Wi-Fi elsewhere, but society seems to revolve around the assumption everyone has good internet access.  Job searching requires internet, as does applying for benefits, which means people out of work have to find a way online.  I suspect this contributes to a significant number of people ending up in debt, having expensive phone contracts or taking out loans to pay for broadband. 

News articles come up fairly regularly about internet access and the government role out of broadband so everyone is connected even in rural areas.  They often mention internet speeds, but they hardly ever mention cost.  They talk as if broadband is free, when in fact it can be pretty expensive.  They can install as many fibre-optic broadband cables as they like, but without the means to pay for it or find it elsewhere it is always going to be hard for some people to get online.      

It was not so bad when every town had libraries with computer access to get online, but libraries have now had significant budget cuts and some have reduced opening hours a lot or closed altogether.  When I was on job seekers benefit, the staff at the job centre told us to use the library to get online if we had no internet at home, but if the opening hours are cut drastically there will be a higher demand for computers when they are open, meaning people may struggle to find a computer that is available.  Internet cafes are also increasingly rare now, with most cafes having free Wi-Fi instead, relying on you having a mobile phone or tablet to use it on.

Even if you have internet access it can go wrong and stop working.  On those occasions if you need to get in contact with someone it helps if you can still ring them or fill in a paper form instead.  However more and more companies and services seem to be online only now.  A lot of offices are now going paper free, with the claim that is to save the environment and to make accessing things like files and forms easier.  This is especially the case with a lot of government services such as applying for benefits and housing.  This can work very well, till you find you have no way to get online!

There are charities who try to help with internet access with free computer use or helping you to fill a form in online.  However the computer use is often limited to what the charity is set up to support with, such as a housing charity only letting you on housing based support sites.  My local council have free computer access in reception, but the computers are locked to certain websites such as the DWP to apply for benefits, Devon Home Choice to apply for housing, CAB charity and that kind of thing. 

Another issue can be the equipment you access the internet on.  Be it by laptop, tablet, phone or PC, they all have the potential to go wrong and break down.  Some seem to only last a few years before they die altogether or need upgrading to work with current apps and certain websites.  It is hard to keep upgrading your electronics on a budget.  I am lucky that I got my latest phone as a part birthday gift from my family with me paying for some of it myself.  Not everyone is this lucky.  The poorest people, unless they want to end up in debt can be priced out of an increasingly paperless society.

The person behind the blog

I thought it would be good to share more about me and my personality so you can get to know the person behind the blog. These are words and phrases I associate with myself.

• Total Hip Replacement/ Perthes Disease– As of August 2011 I have had a false left hip, done aged 25, made of plastic and ceramic with a metal stem. I had it done due to osteoarthritis in the hip brought on early by childhood hip issue Perrthes Disease.

• OCD– Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, diagnosed aged twelve.

• Autism/ Aspergers– I was diagnosed aged thirty-one, but have suspected I have it for years.

• Disabled- I am less physically disabled now than I used to be thanks to my hip replacement, but know that it will not last for ever. Also my mental health can make me feel somewhat disabled at times. Autism is not a disability as such if you see it as just a different way of thinking, but it is often classed as one such as when applying for benefits or educational support.

• Social Housing– I live in social housing,which is what used to be known as council housing in the UK, but now run by different housing associations. I have been living in my one bed flat since Easter 2016 and I really like it.

• Benefits– I receive government benefits. Currently I get Employment Support Allowance as for various mental health reasons I can not work full time right now. I also get housing benefit to help with my rent. I have in the past had Disability Living Allowance, now changed to Personal Independents Payments, but I am not eligible for it at this current time.

• Volunteer– I have been volunteering for various local charities and good causes since I was seventeen. It helps me to get out more, make friends, learn work related skills and add to my CV. I currently help a community craft shop, do administration work for my local community centre and help another charity run their Facebook page.

• Drama Degree– I graduated the University of Lincoln with a BA (Hons) Drama degree in 2011. I really enjoyed my three years there.

• Sister/ Aunt– I have one older brother and am an aunt to his two children, a nephew and a niece. I love being an aunt.

• Devon– My home county where I lived all of my life, apart from time away for university.

• Crafting– I have been making cards to send people for years. I now also make small things to sell under the name The Gothic Butterfly. I have a small shelf in a local craft shop and a Facebook page. I decorate gift boxes and bags, make gift tags, book marks and other small objects.

• Colouring- Now it is very popular to do adult colouring, but I was doing it before it was so easy to even get adult colouring books. I find it helps me to relax and distracts me from my anxiety.

• Theatre– A life long love of mine is going to the theatre to see many kinds of performances. I love musicals, plays, ballet and modern dance. I also enjoy some opera and stand up comedy, although I am a bit more fussy about which of these I would go to see.

• Pub Quizzes– I enjoy going to various pub quizzes regularly with a group of my friends. Not only is it fun to take part and test out how much general knowledge I have, it is a good way to socialise.

• Writer– I have always enjoyed writing and have had good feedback for my writing more so than anything else in my life. As well as this blog, I write a daily diary which I helpful to explore my thoughts and feelings. Writing for me can be kind of therapy. I also have pen pals around he world I write letters to.

• Internet– I love the internet, it is somewhat of an addiction for me I admit, but it has been such a help to me during low periods of my life I do not care. Social media is for me a tool that I can use to express myself and keep in touch with friends which as an autistic person I always find quite tricky. I mainly use Facebook, but I also occasionally use Instergram for photo sharing. I obviously use the internet to share this blog and like most people use email. I also use the internet for a variety of other functions which I have written about before in a previous post.

• Cafes/ Coffee Shops– I really like to drink coffee and hang out in coffee shops. Although I do go to pubs sometimes, I tend to spend more money and time in cafes. I often get quite tired from my mental and physical health issues, cafes are a good place to go and recharge my batteries when out. I like the relaxed, often friendly atmosphere of a cafe. I also really like coffee and cake.

• Television– I watch a lot of TV. I find it helps with my mental health to distract me from my own anxious thoughts and not over think negativity about things in my life. I also really enjoy certain programs. I really like Call the Midwife and Doctor Who. I like some documentaries and have learnt a lot from watching many on the BBC. I also like some sitcoms and animated comedy such as American Dad.

• Music– I enjoy listening to music a great deal. My favourite bands are The Rasmus, a Finnish rock band and Train, American soft rock. I enjoy the music of old bands such as Pink Floyd, the Kinks and the Mamas and the Papas. I like a lot of funk music from the 1970s and 80s. I like a lot of musicals show tunes. Also when in certain moods I enjoy classical music.

• Cheese– A life long love of mine is cheese, I even ate strong blue cheese as a small child. I am yet to find a cheese I do not like (apart from goats cheese, which has an after taste I dislike).

• Dark Purple– This has been a colour I have been drawn to all of my life. I like it in nature, in things that I wear and around my flat. I am not sure why this is, but I remember liking purple things from a very young age.

Writing this you would think would of been easy, but it was harder than I thought it would be.  I had to work out how much I wanted to reveal about myself and what things I even do associate with myself.  Other people may associate different things with me, but this is how I see myself.

Scams, Cold Calls and Junk

Almost as soon as I moved into my flat the cold calls started. I had to register with energy suppliers, which is when the calls about getting a smart meter began. Mostly I get phone calls about it, but I have had the occasional sales person call at my door. My previous energy supplier nearly managed to get me signed up to a smart meter, but before they came to fit it I made sure I read the booklet they sent me about it. I am glad I did, turns out on a prepay meter a smart meter is actually worse value for me than not having one. I would have had to change to a different tariff that would cost me more per unit, so I cancelled it. I also could not see much point in a smart meter when already being on a prepay meter. I can see how much gas and electricity I am spending when my meter goes down. I know myself what appliances I have switched on, so know what is using up my credit. Maybe smart meters are good for people who use billing, but not in my case.

Another energy supplier nearly got me to switch to them. I had already worked out the best deal for me and switched companies only a month earlier. I made the stupid mistake of letting a cold caller into my flat. He somehow got me to sign something which I feel rather stupid for having done so now. I realised almost as soon as I had done it that it was probably a mistake, so decided to do some online research about the company. They were not cheaper than my current company despite his claims as I was not on the average tariff, but on a much lower deal one. The company had very bad reviews for customer service. People complained of relentless cold callers who would not go away till they signed up. I tried to cancel my sign up, but they took so long to answer the phone sometimes I gave up and even when I did get through they kept failing to put me through to the right department. In the end my current company sorted it out for me, but even they struggled to get the company to cancel. I am glad I am aware of my right to cancel an energy switch over within fourteen days of signing up. I am also glad I am able to do my own online research, as I know some people are unable to do this. I had only been in my flat a few months at the time and it is the first time I have lived totally alone with my name on the energy supplier’s information. Anyone who moves into their first home alone is vulnerable as they have no experience in dealing with this kind of thing. Now I have a no cold callers sign on my door, say no thanks to them and shut the door on them.

Another group who regularly cold call people both on the phone and at the door are charities. They never get anywhere with me as they are asking directly for money which is not something I feel able to give a lot of, and I already give to charity in the form of time by volunteering. The elderly seem the most vulnerable to this kind of cold call. A recent consumer programme on the radio reported of people finding their elderly relatives bank accounts linked up by direct debits to lots of charities without the older person being aware of just how much money they were giving each month. Often these people are easily confused or suffering some kind of dementia and can not work out the long term costs or remember how many charities they have already signed up with. Charity giving is a good thing if you can afford it, but some of these people are struggling financially. A lot of charity cold callers work on commission and get a bonus for singing people up, and some have to sign up a certain number each day to even get paid at all. I do not always blame the cold caller, but the system they work under, the payment set up is geared so that vulnerable people are going to be targeted.

Then there is the fake or scam cold call. There is the now quite well known Microsoft computer scam who claim to be Microsoft themselves calling you and that they noticed a fault with your computer. They say they can fix your viruses or hacked computer over the phone if you follow the instructions they give you. However what they actually want is your bank details to pay for the so called service. Some of the scammers actually go so far as to get you to download a programme that lets them remotely control your computer and if you fail to comply with the instructions they start to delete your files! I know that a company such as Microsoft do not even do computer repairs on individual computers. They rang me once whilst I was at home and I had the enjoyment of telling them truthfully I have no internet in my flat and my laptop was switched off as it lives at my parents house (since they do have internet that is where it is most useful to keep it). The elderly are at risk from this scam sometimes as they often understand computers less well.

This article makes interesting reading on the scam, http://www.wired.co.uk/article/malwarebytes

There are various scam calls out there and a good rule of thumb is to never give bank details to anyone who rings you up.

Text messages are also used to try and get people to sign up to things. I have had texts from British Gas about smart meters, texts about phone deals when I was with EE and about online game deals. It is easy to delete a spam text, but disappointing when a text turns out to be spam since I do not get many texts.

Junk mail, the old fashioned way to try and part a fool and his money. However most of the junk I get is not even relevant to me. I do not own my flat so do not need building insurance, can not sell it and am not responsible for my drains (no matter how many times South West Water tell me that any drains on my property are my responsibility). Almost all my junk mail goes straight in the recycling sack. Some people in rented accommodation may sign up for some of the services on offer without realising their landlord is responsible for them, not them.

The internet is a whole other minefield of junk email, scams and banner adverts trying to sell you stuff. If you have a vulnerable family member who uses social media add them as your ‘friend’ so you can keep an eye on who they talk to and what things they are signing up to.

The learning and mentally disabled can be vulnerable to cold calls if they live alone without much. support. They can end up signing up for all kinds of things. Some are lonely and welcome any kind of human contact so let themselves be engaged into conversation with these people. Giving people more support when setting up a new home could help, teaching them how to get good energy deals and to ignore cold callers.

I gather the law is changing to make cold calls without prior consent illegal. However not from abroad, so I expect a lot of companies will just move their call centres. Also I am willing to bet that if it is a call from your own energy supplier or a company you already hired then it will count as prior consent as you already hire a service from them, even if they are trying to sell you something additional. Also what is going to count as prior consent, if it ticking or unticking boxes online when filling in forms, a lot of people are still going to get cold calls.

I think we can all be more careful what we agree to and sign up for. Also I think we should help the vulnerable in society more learn to deal with cold calls, scams and junk mail.

Communication

I communicate a lot with my family and friends electronically using text messages, social media and email. I know a lot of people communicate this way now, but it has been brought to my attention that I may do this more than most people my age. This post looks at why I like to use electronic communication so much.

Practicality

My relatives live spread out across the country in many different counties. I also have friends that live a long way from me that I met at university. I find the internet a fantastic way to stay in touch with people at a distance. I send letters and cards by post, more than a lot of people do these days, but post takes time and often I want a much quicker response. Also the cost of postal services seems to be getting more and more expensive.

Staying in Touch

I would of lost contact with a lot of people if it was not for Facebook. This includes friends from university, people I met at various events and distant relatives. I have never had many friends and would like to keep the ones I have got. I also managed to get back in touch with a few friends from school that I had previously not spoken with in many years.

Generational

From about my age group and below it just seems to be the natural way people communicate. Although some do so less than others, it is common to use Facebook messenger to stay in touch with friends and even family. Text messaging seems to be becoming normal for people of all age groups now including my parents generation. I am a little bit too old to have had a mobile phone or the internet as a small child, but since I was about fourteen I have regularly used the internet to chat with friends. I got my first mobile phone when I was about sixteen when I decided it would be practical since I was at college and that is what everyone else was using. A lot of my university friends are three or four years younger than me and some of them seem to use electronic communications as much as I do. They grew up with it from a younger age so it is what they are used to. At university I actually would have missed out on things if I was not on Facebook. We would invite each other to parties and nights out using Facebook as it was a great way to invite a lot of people at once. We would use Facebook messenger to group chat as it was very handy for us as drama students to share ideas or work out rehearsal times for our practicals.

Autism Friendly

My autism sometimes makes face to face chat harder for me than it might be for some people. I struggle with eye contact; even my diagnostic report says that I do. When I talk I tend to get carried away and say too much or the wrong thing. When I have to write down what I want to say first either online or in a text message it means I can look back at it and have time to think about what I am saying. It means I am less likely to say the wrong thing and can cut out the waffle, get to the point better. It is common for autistic people to use the internet to chat; it has less social skills to learn, although there are some social rules and I by no means always get them right online. I do enjoy face to face chat, but it can be more tiring for me sometimes and often requires more effort, although this depends who I am talking to and on the situation. Face to face people use non-verbal communication such as body language which can be tricky for autistics to pick up on. There is less hidden meaning in written text chat. I feel like I am more in control with this way of chatting. I do not have to talk to someone when I am not in the mood. If I am having a bad day mentally I can chose to ignore a text message or email and deal with it later when I am more able to. This way I do not upset people and take my bad moods out on them. I do use the phone, but have never been totally comfortable with it. Once I start chatting on the phone I often relax and am fine, but the initial thought of it sometimes makes me anxious. So text messaging is often easier for me. (Although I am getting better with making phone calls and do makes calls when I need to.) Another thing I like about written communication is the more definite response rather than ‘hmm’ or a nod of the head that I can often misunderstand. Even an OK or emoticon is at least a response that shows they took on board what I was saying. I find there is less pressure and less hassle with this way of communicating.

Can Just Say It

I like how I can say what I need to whilst I think of it with electronic communication. If I am not sure if someone is free to chat at the time I can still text or email for them to read later before I forget what I was going to say. Plus sometimes I have to say stuff as I get anxious if I do not. I worry if I do not say certain things as soon as I can to people. I do not mind if people read it later as long as I know it is out there.

Writing is my Skill

Writing is something I am quite good at and I feel confident at it. When talking in person it sometimes gets misunderstood. When I write I seem better at putting at my point across.

How Others Want to Communicate

It often seems to be how others want to communicate with me. Maybe they find it easier as I can bore people with my over talking in person. Also I have no land line phone and calling a mobile phone can be costly so maybe texting or emailing is just cheaper for people. I have relatives who email me rather than phone. I think this could be as they do not know when I am free to talk and do not want to disturb me if busy. I Facebook with some relatives responding to statues and comments as it seems a good way to communicate with each other when we do not actually know each other very well in person. This way I am getting to know them without so much pressure. I text with some family since they are often busy and they do not have time to see me face to face or phone very often.

This way of communicating does come with its own problems. When I do not want to talk I can chose not to, but in turn others can do the same to me. If people ignore me for short periods I am fine, but if it goes on for long periods it can worry me. The trouble is these days people are often expected to be instantly available 24 hours a day when it is not always possible. Another problem is of course when technology lets us down. What with lack of phone signal or devices breaking down or running out of charge sometimes old fashioned post or face to face is just easier.

I do not mind which way people choose to communicate with me, be it face to face or electronically. It is just nice when people want to chat with me.

I Love the Internet

I love the internet, personally I think this invention saved my life or at least saved my sanity to some extent. Some people might say I spend too long online staring at a screen, but it is where I feel most comfortable and can be the real me. It is thanks to the internet I gained more confidence in myself, having met others who also think and feel like I do. There are some websites I find particularly useful and use daily to help me cope with the stress of day to day life. There are also websites that I find helpful when needing advice on certain issues or doing research on a topic. These are some of the best websites I have found to help me with my issues and I hope maybe able to help some of you.

WWW.MIND.ORG.UK  

Mind are a UK based mental health charity. They do a lot of good work offline too, but sadly not that near where I live, however the website has been helpful over the years for me. It is packed for of information and advice. I like the guides to types of mental health problems. You can look up mental health issues alphabetically for specific named illnesses or you can look up more general guides to various things. They give a thorough guide to each mental illness, in a very reader friendly way. They offer advice to both those with mental health issues and to those trying to support someone who is ill. The website has an interesting news section on the latest mental health issues. The site tells you about Minds latest campaigns on mental health issues and how you can support them. There is a guide to mental health in the work place with things for both employers and employees.

WWW.elefriends.org.uk 

Mind also have an online support group. A bit like a message board forum, Elefriends is a place I go when I feel I have no one else I can talk to and share my problems with. Like a Facebook status update, but without my family and friends on Facebook reading it. We can say whatever is worrying us, stressing us out or making our mental health worse. Everyone on the site has some experience of having mental health problems and can respond to your message. People can click ‘like’ if it is a positive message, ‘thinking of you’ if it sounds stressful and upsetting or ‘I hear you’ if you have also been in a similar situation and understand how they feel. People can also write a small message in return if they wish offering support or advice. Peer support for me is very helpful as these people have actually been in similar situations as me sometimes and can offer real life advice and not just some text book answer. Knowing that other people agree that my situation is upsetting makes me feel more justified in being upset. The site lets you make a small profile explaining more about yourself and your illness and you are given the option to add a photo should you wish. You can also private message other members. The site is run by Ele the Elephant who pops in now and then to keep an eye on things and monitor posts which is reassuring. Every couple of days or so Ele also leaves a message with advice or links to other things that may help.

WWW.7cupsoftea.com   

7 Cups of Tea is another online support group for those with mental health problems, but instead of being a message board, you can talk directly to other people either one on one or in chat rooms. The site has a number of chat rooms for various issues such as anxiety, depression, disability, LGBT and relationship support. I find the chat rooms very helpful as I can talk to others who understand some of what I am going though and I get an immediate response. I tend not to use the one on one chat as they have this set up as listeners who are people supposed to be neutral who listen to your problems and respond in a helpful way, but anyone seems to be able to become a listener and I am not sure I like the idea of talking to someone about my personal problems alone when they are not qualified in counselling or something. I like the idea of a group chat as you get more than one opinion on things and a range of support. The site also offers a few simple mindfulness exercises you can listen to when stressed and some self-help guides on various topics. It also has this slightly gimmicky growth path thing, where you build up your path each day the more you seek support from the site. I think the idea is that you build a support path a little each day in the time it would take to sit down and have a cup of tea.

WWW.benefitsandwork.co.uk  

Benefits and Work are an independent source for advice when claiming benefits. It aims to help disabled and sick people claim the benefits they are entitled to. The site has thorough guides to claiming employment and support allowance, personal independence payment and disability living allowance, plus a bit of information on a few other benefits as well. Not only do the guides tell you how to claim the benefits, but about medicals, how to appeal should you be turned down and any other information you may find useful as a claimant. The site also has the latest news on anything benefit related that may affect claimants. A lot of the information is free, although to access even more detailed guides you can sign up as a paying member.

WWW.nhs.uk/conditions

A handy guide to many common conditions and symptoms. You can look up an illness or disability in alphabetical order. It gives you a good introduction to what the condition is, symptoms, possible causes and treatments. You can also look things up via the symptoms checker which uses a human body to look up various body parts and typical problems that can occur to that part of the body. I often find it useful to confirm what I already suspected I may have or to check if I need to see a doctor about it.

Sometimes I find it best to just pick the various aspects of a website that are right for you, some pages on a site may be very helpful, whilst others may not fit your situation. I also think that using more than one site can be helpful to gain a range of ideas and opinions on something.

If you can think of other websites that you find helpful please feel free to share them here in the comments.