I admit it, I caved, and I drank alcohol again. Not vast amounts, enough to be tipsy, but not wreaked. In total I drank two pints of cider over several hours in four half pints. I was at the local pub and too distracted by the karaoke and chatting to drink any faster. I also find I drink less if I have halves as I do not drink so much at once and do not want to keep going up to the bar too often.
I decided after nine months of sobriety that I could drink again without it being a problem. I have never actually been a problem drinker. One of the main reasons I drank that night was due to anger and a ‘who the heck even cares any more’ attitude. Finding myself newly single and having had a birthday that week I thought, here I am at thirty-two single again, being good has got me nowhere so stuff it. I partly gave up drinking to help my ex when he was really struggling with drink problems and seeing what alcohol could do to him scared me. However seeing as he left me I was feeling pretty annoyed at the whole no alcohol thing. ( Although he was not the only reason I quit drinking.)
Actually when I was with him I found giving up alcohol pretty easy. I was happy and did not need it for a good time. He managed at least eight months sober and together we were getting our lives sorted. However on my own alcohol became tempting again. I know being left by someone and being angry and upset is a stupid reason to drink, but frankly at the time I did not care and I know I can handle drink better than some people anyway. I think this song by Train sums up why I drank that night rather well
However I am very glad I did spend nine months totally alcohol free. I was starting to drink more than I should have and looking back did need to take a break from it. I also got to see how it looks when you are sober around drunk people. No one very drunk looks good to a sober person, no matter what you think the alcohol does to you, it is not helping you become more attractive or better at things trust me on this. Drinking heavily on a very regular basis can make you a tedious person to spend time with. Far from enhancing your personality it makes you overly emotional and dumb. Drunk people tend to say stupid things and end up in situations that I can see could easily have been avoided if they had drunk less that night. I found some occasions actually more enjoyable sober. My cousin’s wedding for example, was easier being fully sober with all my wits about me to deal with so many people at once. I found I saved money sober as well as I had better judgement on what I was spending at the bar. Coming home from a night out with change from a £20 is quite nice.
I have decided that alcohol is fine in moderation and not too often. I will drink again, but not every time I go out, just occasionally when I feel I am able to handle it. I also plan to not drink too much at once. You do not have to drink heavily to get a nice buzz from alcohol and the hangover is not so bad in the morning this way. If you need at least six pints to have a good time maybe you have a problem or at least could do with a break from alcohol for a while. In fact everyone could do with a break from alcohol now and then, maybe not nine months like me, but a month or two so you can see things from a sober prospective.
Some people like my ex can not do moderation and in those cases should remain totally alcohol free. For them one drink will never be just one drink. I however am lucky and can do moderate drinking, so why not? I never did get much pleasure from being very heavily drunk. I also plan to keep my flat an alcohol free zone. Living alone, solo drinking is the worst kind of drinking, it tends to be depressed drinking. Alcohol is best when with other people enjoyed sensibly in moderation.